Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ben & Ammii: The Rematch

So, that last review ended up sounding a lot like "Ben is a crybaby," so I thought we'd review something completely different this time. Something manly. Something tough. Something that has never made me cry:

Power tools.

Once again, I have my lovely and talented wife Ann Marie (aka Ammii) here with me. Let's start off with my personal favorite power tool, (that I own, because it would be silly to review tools I have no experience with,) the Dremel.

Ammii: *ahem* That's mine.

Ben: No it's not. I got it for--was it my birthday?

Ammii:  Oh yeah. 'Kay it's yours.

Ben: The thing I like best about the Dremel is you can use it for almost anything.

Ammii: As long as I'm not using it.

Ben: *ahem* As long as what you want to do involves cutting things that aren't too big. I once used it to cut the big chainring off a cottered crankset. I've also used it to remove the rust from a bicycle frame.

Ammii: That Dremel tool really is mine. It may have been for your birthday, but we all know whose it really is.

Ben: The other time I used it was to cut the top off a plastic drain pipe.

Ammii: And that's about the only times you've used it. But that's okay, because I don't want you using my tools. I mean your tools.

Ben: Okay, why do you like it so much? It's totally a man's tool. Meaning, you can use for things that there are really better tools for but you're too lazy to go get them.

The Starship Enterprise. What a girly thing to carve.
Ammii: Like woodcarving? 'Cause that's what I use it for.

Ben: Oh sure. Use it for what it's meant for. How girly.

Ammii: Why ruin a perfectly good tool using it for something it's not meant to be used on? Like some of those attachments you totally wasted.

Ben: They're disposable. They come in packs of twenty. Besides, Dremel Inc. or whatever they are markets it as a do-anything tool. You can tell that company's run by men.

Ammii: Okay, so what's your second favorite tool. Is it your dead power drill? 'Cause I wore the battery out?

Ben: Aha! I can honestly say that I use that tool far more than you do. In fact, you always use your Dremel to drill holes when the drill is clearly the better choice. Real men know to use the right tool for the right job.

Ammii:  Uh HUH...I don't use it because the battery's always dead.

Ben:  Yeah, it won't hold a charge anymore. Too many years of HEAVY use.

Ammii: *giggles* Like you built this house with your drill.

Ben: I never implied such a thing.

Ammii: My second favorite tool is my scroll saw. And that one really is mine.

Ben: Yeah, I got it for her for Valentine's Day. Isn't that a totally manly gift?

Ammii: Totally romantic.

Ben: Yeah, I picked out the best scroll saw in the store, because I know how to pick good tools, right?

Ammii: I thought it was the cheapest one.

Ben: Actually, it was the only one. But it is nice. As quiet as a sewing machine. With a sawdust collection thingy. And it takes two kinds of blades.

Ammii: Sewing machines are power tools.

Ben: But like I'd ever use one of those. Ha!

Ammii: Umm...are you forgetting all those hours you spent sewing stuff for your bike?

Ben: But at least I wasn't using a pattern! Totally winging it, brave and daring! And it was nylon tent fabric, so it was really hard. I'll bet you couldn't have done as good a job.

Ammii: I wouldn't even try.

Ben: There. See? Totally manly. And we're going to end the review right here with a picture of something only a man could make, the Velo-tent-mobile!

It's a velomobile! No, it' s a tent! No, it's THE VELOTENT!
By the way, this is my 100th published post! (Meaning, it's the one hundredth post excluding the ones I wrote and never posted, and the ones that I posted and later took down!)

Ammii: Obviously. Duh.

3 comments:

  1. Power tools! WHat happened to flowers and candy?

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  2. Congrats on your 100th published post. I am a new follower. Glad to be here.

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  3. That was too funny! It helps that, knowing your voices (and you), I could just hear the conversation. Good'un!

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