Thursday, March 15, 2012

Why I Won't Be Seeing...

The Hunger Games movie.

Part of me thinks I shouldn't even dignify it with an entire blog post, especially considering I've already mentioned the series in, like, three posts already. But I got nothin' else at the moment. Here are my reasons, in no particular order unless my subconscious mind has other plans.

1. I'm a book snob. So why would I want to spend three hours going to a theater to watch a movie when I could stay home (or anywhere else I happen to be) and finish reading Emma? (Title-dropping is what we book snobs do. Between you and me, Emma's a very, very long book.)

2. It's way too popular. And I tend to shy away from whatever everyone else is doing. Or seeing.

3. Hollywood betrayed me. When I was newlywed, I convinced my beautiful, tender bride to make an exception to her long-standing personal rule against seeing PG-13 or worse movies, and took her to see The Fellowship of the Ring. I literally finished rereading the book in the lobby of the theater right before we went in, so I had it all fresh in my mind. It was a great book, and everything I knew promised that the movie would be great, too.

And then I had to sit through about four hours of darkness and violence, thinking the entire time that it was exactly what my poor wife hadn't wanted to see. I never got into the movie, and didn't enjoy it one bit. All I could think was how right my wife was and how wrong I was. Also, the book wasn't like that.

4. How often does the movie do the book justice, anyway? Okay, now that I've said that, I can think of a few times: Holes, Hitchhiker's Guide, Contact. (And I actually like the movie version of Carl Sagan's Contact better than the book.) But those are the exceptions, in my experience. Oh, I'd better add the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice to that list, because it's almost exactly like the book. Why is that so rare?

5. If they were really going to do The Hunger Games justice, it wouldn't be PG-13. It would be a lot worse. It would be disturbing, horrifying, and you'd come out of the theater feeling guilty for having gone to watch children kill each other for entertainment. But, things being as they are, even the most atrocious acts can be made wonderfully entertaining. I'm sure that's exactly what the movie will be. And everyone will love it.

6. Everyone loves it. (This might be a duplicate of number two.) Seriously, where's the criticism? I feel obliged to write these posts because no one else is. Admittedly, I haven't tried to find criticism of THG, books or movie. I'm just going by what comes my way. With Twilight it was mostly criticism. Sure, the books are well-written, but they're also...

7. Horrific. And this is what it really comes down to for me. There are a lot of things in that book that I've already seen in my mind, and I have no interest in seeing them on the screen. The consequences of what Katniss lives through and does don't really appear until the end of book three, at which point the story fast forwards through them. The book, the movie, they're both too much like the fictional Hunger Games themselves.

8. I'm self-righteous.

9. My wife won't let me. She's never read the books, but she's been right about this sort of thing before, and who am I gonna trust? (See number three.)

10. The word "star" is nowhere in the title. Neither is the word "trek."

Thursday, March 1, 2012

A Rerun!

Because no one read it the first time! You jerks!

I'm just gonna post a link to the post that I want to rerun. So go back in time and enjoy a boring post that only a nerd could enjoy. If you're a nerd, of course. Actually, it's mostly a video.

It's funny, because when I wrote Drivers I ended up using that interface that you see in the video, (minus the swaths of red that indicate obstacles.) The drivers see a yellow path to mark where they're going. Nice, eh?  But that's only on autopilot, when the computer is driving. When they're driving, there's nothing.

Kind of like life.